Arlecchino Malbenvolio / Community / Everquest / Da Gazkab Place
Me Gazkab an me not writ so gud so ya gots ta know me am trool, er troll. So ya no like? Den me eats ya. So dere.
Ya asks Ganelon or Dannie or Doover. Me mets Kumlaak an um ... Zeel. Zeel did sum mojo on me and Ganelon in datdere Befallen.
Ya me not know. Ganelon said ta make dis writ down to ya.
Me not know muches. Me not got many places dat me seen. Me not killed many 'ceptin dem stoopid bloatie corpses and udder icky stuff. But me gud troll. Me not take bath so me not got any sick in me. Ya know dat bath make ya sick, right? Me been in dem Commonlands and in de sand place ... dem boths bad fer me skin tho. Me glad when it rain lots!
Me bash gud. Me gots 13 years learnin wit Ranjor in Grobb. He gud ta learns fro but me not like how he always make like he gonna eats me. Dat make me mad. One day me gonna mebbe eats him. Dat show him not ta be dat way ta me!
In swampy, which me like muches, me learned ta bash gud but dem guards helps me sum. Dey help stoopid meats like me not die so dat me tink is gud. Me not git hert so muches no more tho cuz me bery bery strong now. Me jus go learn fro Ranjor how ta hold two weapons and fights wit botha dem but am back in Commonland now.
Me encoonta-, enkant- er, meats lots a ting dat me bash. Me bash froggies, doggies, 'shrooms .. lots stuffs. Me gots guilty pleasure do in layin down smack on dem stoopid orc pawn. Dem dum and dey stink! Me glad am troll an not stink like dem!
Dere on story bout one day in swamp. Me tell dat story ta Dannie and Ganelon and sum udder meats me not member. One time me in dis tower in swamp and find dis bloatie rotten corpse at top! Me try ta bash em but it too strong! Dat makes me mad ... but me git hurts by bloatie so wha me do? Me in tower and wher can me run? Off side a dat tower! OUCH! dat hurted too.
Lata me gat sum brudda trolls ta help but stoopid bloatie not shows up! Dat bloatie was sacaared a me! Gud idera ta be scared a me cus me am scary. Ya eber see a bunch a trolls bashem stuff? Me bet yer tummy git wiggly at dat. Dat almost make me ill. Dem group troll bruddas all round sum meat goin smash bash hack crack.
Me and sum brudda took out a derviish camp jus dis day dat me writ dis. Only tree ... er ...three? ya, um anypay ... dere more dan two us. We do gud but had hard time keepin up wit dem all showin up and castin mojo an stuffs. Not die, no or me not able ta write dis, duh, but we got hurts lots! But me regermi- ranigeni - er, heal quick. Den bashem more!
Me brain start ta hurt so me not write muches more.
Me tink me can helps ya bashem dat ... er red lizard. Me seen green lizzie in dat Feerrott an dem not tuff at all. Me not eber seen red lizzie, but me sure can help wit dat too. Me likes ta help udders, cuz den dey helps me.
Ya rulez make gud sense. Me can follow gud, so can follow dat Chain 'round if need to. Me gud at finding me way in dark too! I don git lost much so me can lead too sumtimes. Dat why me an Ganelon git along so well cuz me can go out an git stuff fer us ta bashem gud on. Me neber thot dat little white meat could bash as gud as he do sumtimes! We makes a gud team, but sumtime we need a mojo casta ta help ... not fer no poison cure cuz me like poison (it bery gud and spicy!) but fer rabies and stuff. Rabies gib me bad taste in mouth and me not regermi- ranigeni - er, heal quick den.
Me serve myself an me friends. Me prefer ta serve dem gud white meats with thick blud sauce. Me not like ta serve dem Gods cuz dem is wha got me budda trolls in sucha mess. Dem Gods make us promise dat dey help den dey jus let us git tromped by udders. So me agnostical on dem Gods an such, but me still do care fer me brudda trolls. Dem okay.
So me mouth is dry. Me go git a spider ta gib me sum poison ta drink!
~ OOC on
Of course, Gazkab is a typical troll. Even though he's agnostic and thinks that he's different than all other trolls, the truth is that he's exactly like all trolls. All trolls think they are different than the other trolls. This in fact is why trolls do not value each other's lives so much and are always eating their own kind.
Trolls in this sense are really very powerful adolescents. They believe that the rules don't apply to them and that the are somehow better than everyone around them without being able to prove that they are. Pretty much they take this as a matter of faith and end up having what amounts to an irrational feeling of invincibility.
In part this is why trolls have no clerics, only shaman. They don't have an ethic of submission to their Gods. Their Gods are more of all powerful spirits that are cajolled into doing favours, not beings that embody noble ideals. This somewhat impovrishes their sense of a moral life for they really don't necessarily understand the concepts of good and evil per se. Trolls are nasty on an instinctual level, deeply rooted in their culture and brains.
Gazkab actually is a bit more savvy than most trolls. He can count to ten, which is quite a feat. Also, he actually demonstrates a rudimentary understanding of fractions up to 1/10th (since that's a form of counting to 10). However, multiplication and other higher forms of arithmatic are beyond him completely. He can keep track of multiple groups of ten items, thus allowing him to deal with quantities of money and stacks of items.
Surprisingly Gazkab is a good merchant, not only due to the fact that he can carry lots of things. He warns people not to underestimate trolls and their ability to sell things. Of course, this tends to make his buyers nervous ...
It's unlikely that Gazkab fully understands the idea of forgoing his evil heritage, since he doesn't fully understand the ideal of evil as opposed to good. In the troll world forces just are. They are either against him or with him. In his early years this meant that it was the "dark meats" versus the "light meats." He's come to respect members of many races and species, and to dislike others, based not on who they worship and where they live but what the do and who they are.
Of course, cultural training runs deep, and it might be true that many of the attitudes, that for the more advance races would be learned, might actually be genetically encoded in trolls. Gazkab still has the basic instincts that exist in all trolls toward things that trolls find match their sense of aesthetics and drive their passions. However, Gazkab is definitely getting better, if not at spelling, then at being a citizen of the whole of Norrath.
~OOC off
Ya lets me know ifn ya wan me ta helps wit dat red lizard!