Presentation of Progress and Blockages with Dialogue:

“The Safari: In Search of The Elephant”

This is a travelogue of the first two quarters of The Power and Limitations of Dialogue. This represents the development of a mutual language about conflict and conflict management. This process starts with the realization that even in the face of compassion there are those that will resort to force and other destructive strategies. This is a process of trying to build a bridge toward those normally beyond our area of comfort, and to connect with the humanity of those inimical to us. In building this bridge we came to several points where the project looked impossible to complete. Eventually we were able to use these difficulties to find new places to firmly stand, at which point we could find strength to be more willing and able.

However, being willing and able is only part of this process. Throughout the exploration of the power and limitations of dialogue, we measured own willingness against the willingness and unwillingness of others. The realization that our willingness had limits created tension, a tension that turns out to be crucial. This tension is between the desire to connect with others but still to maintain our own sense of self.

The complexity of these desires and the tension between them is a system, in the sense of Systems Theory. That this system exists provides a way to find points of leverage and synergy, ways to affect that system.

0. Me and Other

I remember the first day of class when I came in and it was me and these other people. Like Tupac said, “[It was] Me Against the World.”

0. Giraffe and Jackal

“At an early age, most of us were taught to speak and think Jackal. This language is from the head. It was a way of mentally classifying people into varying shades of good and bad, right and wrong. Ultimately it provokes defensiveness, resistance, and counterattack. Giraffe bids us to speak from the heart, to talk about what is going on for us – without judging others. In this idiom, you give people and opportunity to say yes, although you respect no for an answer. Giraffe is a language of requests; Jackal is a language of demands.” - Marshall Rosenberg, Compassionate Communication

0. The Project

   1. In Patrick’s language the Giraffe is my intramural group. Beyond the fence of my comfort is my intermural other, the Jackal.

   2. In Michael Learner’s What it Means to Open Our Hearts to the Other he tells us that the “absolute prerequisite for making peace” is to “reconnect with what it means in the Torah when it tells us categorically ‘Thou shalt love the stranger.’”

   3. As it says in our syllabus: “[The human being] experiences him/herself, his/her thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of our consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening out circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” - Albert Einstein

   4. This project, in the language we learned from Bill Moyers' The Mystery of Chi, is “Crossing the Threshold.”

0. The Problem with the Unwilling Other

   1. In Holler if You Hear Me by Michael Dyson, Tupac expresses frustration at how the bad guys get more girls, and being nice doesn’t pay off in the face of those willing to break the social contract.

   2. “I think there are plenty of good people in America but there are also plenty of bad people in America and the bad ones are the ones who seem to have all the power and be in these positions to block things that you and I need. Because this is the situation, you and I have to preserve the right to do what is necessary to bring to an end to that situation and it doesn’t mean I advocate violence but at the same time I am not against using violence in self defense. I don’t even call it violence when it’s self defense. I call it intelligence.” –El Shabazz Malik El-Hajj

   3. Even Martin Luther King Jr. agrees that confronting the unwilling other would be dangerous in an unjust world. He says on page 180 of The Testament of Hope that “Nothing in the theory of nonviolence counsels this suicide.”

   4. If the Jackal is that part is that part of the dog-like Other pack with which we are willing to engage, then there’s part of the Other with which we are not willing or able to engage. This remaining Other could be represented by the Hyena. The Jackal is that Other we are willing to engage, even though the Jackal may not be able to be compassionate and connected. The Jackal is willing to engage, the Hyena is not. The Jackal may take bites out of each and every Giraffe, but will stop feeding when it is full, when it’s needs are met. The Hyena will take bites from every Giraffe that it meets, and will continue eating until there is nothing left to eat, including attacking the Jackals. The Jackal has authentic needs that can be met by the herd of Giraffes in order to build a bridge between them. The Hyenas refuse to peacefully engage even if all efforts are made to satisfy their needs.

   5. If the project of this class is to engage with our own Other, then staying with the safe intramural conversations in the Giraffe herd is not enough. One has to engage the Other, even if that Other will consistently take a chunk out of every Giraffe, if there is any hope for progress toward dialogue.

   6. If we abandon the project at this point, we become the unwilling Giraffe, the Geoduck.

0. The King Facilitator

   1. In many of the embryonic dialogues and initial attempts at compassionate communication, examined in this class, there have been convener or facilitators. Beverly Brown acted in this role in In Timber Country and BZ Goldberg acted in the capacity in Promises. If there is an authority to enforce rules and to help keep the Giraffes safe from Hyenas while trying to communicate with Jackals then there is something else, the Rhinoceros.

   2. If the facilitator exits the process too soon the project fails. In Promises Faraj recognized that when BZ Goldberg left the dialogue would collapse.

   3. Another important point about the facilitator is that to some extent the Rhino defines the project. This is like the King in the Elephant Parable. The King defined and limited the project. In the modification without the King it might be possible that the project would continue but it could as easily ended up with the blind men deciding to go smell flowers instead.

0. The Rhino's not enough

1. Not only is there a point where the facilitator is necessary, but at some point the Rhino must let the participants continue the project on their own or risk destroying just as surely as if they left the conversation too soon.

2. In order to balance the control of the facilitator there is the need for creativity. On the continuum from control to chaos, the willing Rhino is opposed by the willing Monkey. The Monkey is named after the Monkey-Wrenching tactics they often employ without malice.

0. The Safari: In Search of the Elephant

   1. Just like there is willing and unwilling in one direction, there is also the Shark and Locust in the other direction.

   2. The Giraffe and Jackal are points on the continuum from passive to militant. The Rhino and Money are points on the continuum from control to chaos.

   3. The Jackal-Monkey hemisphere is disconnecting, and the Giraffe-Rhino hemisphere is connecting. The Rhino-Jackal hemisphere is destroying, and the Giraffe-Monkey hemisphere is creating.

   4. Using these ideas in the Willing circle, the positions can be described in the following ways:

      1. The Giraffe is a connecting, creating passivity.

      2. The Jackal is a disconnecting, destroying militancy

      3. The Rhino is a connecting, destroying control

      4. The Monkey is a disconnecting, creating chaos

   5. By the way, we also have an extreme atmosphere of malice and obliviousness, the Spider, Butterfly, Armadillo, Boar and the Safari Hunter Van Pelt. But we’re going to save you from having to hear about the whole safari. If you really want to know, we’d be happy to tell you.

0. Socioeconomic Forces

I can be any of these animals. Not only any of them, but I am all of them at the same time. Further, groups of people, organizations, and even nations are all of these at the same time also.

0. The Hyena Solved?

   1. As an example, I see myself as a Giraffe. I see the intermural Other as a Jackal and the intermural Other sees me as a Jackal. We treat each other as Jackals.

   2. In order to cross the boundary I need the help of people to act in the role of Monkey and Rhino or I need to develop these skills myself. With the help of the Monkey and the Rhino I have kept the Hyenas at bay so that I could meet with the Jackals.

   3. But I’ve excluded the Hyenas, which violates my original project of Loving the Stranger. Either I do something new, or I’ve abandoned the project. Assuming that the original project is still valid, what do I do now?

1. The Center

   1. There is one final place in this array of animal. The very center of this chart is a place where the willingness to meet the Other is matched by a careful maintenance of my personal boundary of compassion, a balance between the intermural and intramural groups, the willingness to meet with the Other as an equal deserving to be as respected as much as providing respect. This middle ground is also between the militant and passive strategies as suggested by Martin Luther King Jr. in The Strength to Love where the third strategy of nonviolence, a kind of militant passivity, exists. This is also the center between the orderly and chaotic urges, the creative center. This central nexus in these continuums is the Meerkat, which represents the nonviolent, threshold crossing creative strategy.

2. Each position in the willing circle has a slogan.

   1. The Giraffe says “Yes!”

   2. The Jackal says “No!”

   3. The Monkey says “Why?”

   4. The Rhino say “Because!”

   5. The Meerkat says “What if?”

	Rhino: “Because!”
Giraffe: Yes!	Meerkat: “What if?”	Jackal: “No!”
	Monkey: “Why?”

0. The Journey

   1. We move from the obliviousness of not having to take others into account to the realization other people matter and have needs. From these others I separate my intramural group and my intermural other.

   2. I begin with compassion for my intramural group. Compassion leads me to realize my vulnerability. If I make the mistake of externalizing this, I become obsessed. If I internalize this I end up paralyzed.

      Becoming obsessed means that I become focused on other people's problems as a way to avoid having to deal with my own. I become paralyzed when I become focused only on my development and problems, ignoring that I am connected to others.

      +	Obsession
      =	Vulnerability
      -	Paralysis

   3. My vulnerability helps me to recognize the need for control over my environment and others. My need for control leads me to realize I have limitations. If I externalize these limitations, I become tied to dominance. If I internalize this, I become filled with fear.

      Becoming mired in domination, I become focused on how I can take advantage of other people's limitations and that I have all the answers. I become full of fear when I am fixated on my own limitations and hiding them.

      +	Dominance
      =	Limitations
      -	Fear

   4. My limitations help me to see the need for passion and creativity. This need for passion and creativity leads me to realize I must be non-attached to things that are beyond my control. If I externalize this detachment, I become arrogant. If I internalize this detachment, I am filled with shame.

      My arrogance comes from seeing others are irrelevant to me because I have no impact on them, so I become indifferent to their needs. Shame comes from taking full responsibility for the well-being of others when I can only at most influence them.

      +	Arrogance
      =	Non-attachment
      -	Shame

   5. My non-attachment leads to the need for intellectual learning and will. This learning and will make me realize the awe and wonder in the world. If I externalize my wonder, I will become greedy. If I internalize my awe, I lose myself.

      Having eyes hungry with wonder leads me to desire to possess. Being full of awe, leaves me feeling too insignificant to affect the world.

      +	Greed
      =	Awe and Wonder
      -	Loss of Self

   6. My awe and wonder lead to the need for community and balance. The realization of balance means that I recognize the existence of change and imbalance. If I externalize imbalance, I become a hedonist, even worse an ethical egoist. If I internalize imbalance, I feel hopelessly disconnected.

      Becoming a slave to sensation, I lose perspective and become addicted to distraction. In isolation, I lose perspective and become untrusting of the possibility to connect.

      +	Lust
      =	Change
      -	Isolation

   7. Realization of change leads to the need for alignment and equilibrium. I recognize the systemic forces around me. My behaviour becomes autonomous as I realize that I am free to use the strategies of the Safari wherever I will have the most leverage.

   8. This personal mastery of the Safari builds on alignment and equilibrium. The emergent benefit of this journey is that I now have leverage beyond myself through alignment.

      My points of leverage affect the shared vision. My compassion leads to realization of natural law. My control and creativity lead me to learning and the application of learning, Knowledge and Wisdom. Creativity helps me to think outside the box and develop knowledge. My control leads me to insight in how to apply my knowledge. My awe and wonder provide me with the power and motivation to grow and heal. My realization of change allows me to maintaining a sense of self while also maintaining a connection to community.

Giraffe	Law
Rhino	Wisdom
Monkey	Knowledge
Jackal	Power
Meerkat	Love

0. Alignment: The real Hyena Solution

   1. Imagine a group of people standing around a platform that’s floating in a pool. If one person steps on this platform, the whole thing is thrown into chaos and change. They can move around the platform until they find a spot where they can stand. However, when the next person steps on the platform the whole thing is once again thrown into chaos and change. These two people then need to find places where they can stand on the platform that balances. This process continues until everyone is on the platform.

   2. There are several ways that this system can be balanced. Everyone can stand on the outside edge, everyone can stand in the center, or the combination of everyone’s individual position has to equal out. If one person then moves to the very outer edge either everyone else also moves to the outer edges or they adjust their individual positions to take into account this change.

   3. If everyone on the platform except one person wants to get together they can all move towards a point slightly off center that balances the odd man out. Everyone else can connect without requiring the other person to move from the outer edge. The only thing necessary is that those wanting to connect agree to move toward that off center balance. The odd man out is free to stay at the outer edges or to join everyone else in moving toward the center.

   4. The more people on the platform that agree to move to a place where they can balance together the closer that place will be to the actual center of the platform.

   5. However, the fewer people there on the platform willing to come together, the farther away from the center I will find a balance point if there's someone hanging out at the outside edge.

   6. Therefore, the project to widen my circle of compassion is also an attempt to invite more people on the platform to balance with me in order to allow me to move closer to the true center. If I can balance the "odd man out" with greater numbers of people interested in balancing together, then the equilibrium is more stable and closer to the center.

   7. If I don't widen my circle of compassion, then I will be forced toward the outer edges to find balance and equilibrium. It will be easier for others to move me toward the outer edges.

0. The Two Brains

   1. In the essay Participatory Thought and the Unlimited David Bohm refers to two modes of thinking. The first, literal thought, is practical and result-oriented, and aims to see things “just as they are.” The other, participatory thought, is one where discreet boundaries are permeable and all objects are participating in a connected vital existence. Bohm believes that both modes of thought have virtues and limitations. He suggests that the relationship between the two is a place that is best investigated using dialogue.

   2. In Why We Love War, Laurence LeShan says, “One central human tension is the problem of how to be both an individual and a part of the larger group. Many of the great literary works explore this theme, dealing over and over with how we try to reconcile these conflicting drives. The same issue runs through modern textbooks on psychology, sociology, and anthropology. On the one hand is the drive to be more and more unique and individual, to heighten one’s experience and being. On the other hand is the drive to be a part of something larger, a full-fledged member of the tribe.”

   3. Desmond Tutu explores this idea in his book No Future Without Forgiveness. On page 265 he says, “Then we experience fleetingly that we are made for togetherness, for friendship, for community, for family, that we are created to live in a delicate network of interdependence.” (emphasis added)

1. The Cat's Cradle Graph

   1. The idea of the two brains offers that there’s a disconnected and connected ways of viewing the world. These two modes exist at the same time, not in exclusion to each other, although we can temporarily fool ourselves to think that they are exclusive. This matches the disconnected and connected hemispheres of the Safari.

   2. The other hemispheres of the Safari are those of creating and destroying. Creating is like Senge’s idea of inquiry, where one doesn’t accept the current model and wants to question the way things are. Destroying is like Senge’s idea of advocacy, where one the current model must be protected and wants to accept things the way they are.

   3. The center of the Safari is where these hemispheres are balanced, where creativity happens in that space between these different modes.

   4. These relationships can be represented in what we call The Cat’s Cradle Graph.

      1. This graph is another way of expressing the relationships in the Safari.

         	Disconnect		Connect
         +	Monkey		Giraffe
         	=	Meerkat	=
         -	Jackal		Rhino

      2. The journey corresponds to the Safari and so can also be represented on this graph.

         	Disconnect				Connect
         +	+	Arrogance			+	Obsession
         	=	Non-attachment			=	Vulnerability
         	-	Shame			-	Paralysis
         	=		+	Lust	=
         			=	Change
         			-	Isolation
         -	+	Greed			+	Dominance
         	=	Awe & Wonder			=	Limitations
         	-	Loss of Self			-	Fear

      3. The way these points of leverage affect the shared vision can also be represented on this graph.

         	Disconnect		Connect
         +	Knowledge		Law
         	=	Love	=
         -	Power		Wisdom

      4. Violence can be deconstructed onto this graph as a way to classify change. In this graph, we have disconnected and connected matched with externalized and internalized. In the center is the equilibrium between these four extremes.

         	Disconnect		Connect
         +	Violence		Dialogue
         	=	Conflict / Forgiveness	=
         -	Conformity		Compassionate Listening

      5. The response to violence can be deconstructed onto the Cat’s Cradle Graph also.

	Disconnect		Connect
+	Retribution		Amnesty
	=	Reparations / Reconciliation	=
-	Confession		Contrition

0. The need for balanced inequality.

   1. On p44 of Respect, Robert Sennett says, “In everyday life we are constantly confusing self and other … It is by projecting that we make a kind of elemental contact with others … But confusion between self and other can also serve as a necessary point of departure for constructing a further social relationship, an evolving social bond.” We have this need to have a connection, a social bond with someone other than ourselves. This social confusion of self with another is a function of what Sennett calls “sympathy.” This connectedness helps us to define ourselves and to identify with the greater good, to be in alignment and have equilibrium in the face of even gross inequality.

   2. On p122 Sennett also points out, “Rather than an equality of understanding, a transparent equality, autonomy means accepting in the other what you do not understand, an opaque equality.” While we need a social bond with others, there’s a place outside our circle of understanding. No matter how many connections we realize there will still be connections that we have not yet recognized. Regardless of this sense of disconnectedness, we still maintain respect through mutual autonomy.

   3. Across the world, there’s examples of these kinds of issues. For example, in our readings about the conflict between Palestine and Israel, there’s examples of the children of revolutionaries attempting to find balance, the struggle of the women in both cultures to have a voice and place and the struggle between the revolutionary zeal and regressive violence. There’s the desire for self-determination and self-respect in both, but there’s a constant conflict between the positive and the negative, the supportive connection and the self-interested separation. The thing to realize is that there’s no single voice. To pick only one is to ignore the complexity of human experience. To listen to each and every voice would be an impossible confusion.

   4. As we make our personal journey toward alignment we want to always maintain an open invitation to others to connect and help us widen our circle of compassion. We must try to be willing and able to connect to others. If we achieve some kind of equilibrium, we must always keep in mind that other points of equilibrium are possible even if we widen our circle of compassion further. Personal progress without community is just another form of isolation. Community without personal progress is just another form of stagnation. I cannot make personal progress if I allow myself to be destroyed. I also cannot be a member of the community if I spend all my time protecting myself.

   5. The time, place, ability, willingness and commitment of this project is about resisting the societal, cultural and personal forces that attempt to alienate us from each other and also attempt to convince us to beautify the barriers that exist as the status quo. My personal project is to become the Meerkat, a balance between the ideas of discussion and dialogue, between the ideas of advocacy and inquiry, between militancy and passivity. To be the Meerkat is to participate and promote learning communities in my life to the best of my ability.

   6. While the project is to constantly widen our circle of compassion, we must realize that we cannot do this without equilibrium. However, if we get stuck thinking that we must maintain our equilibrium at the expense of widening our circle of compassion, then we’ve missed the point again. What we need to do is to maintain the creative tension between widening our circle of compassion and maintaining equilibrium. Unless we maintain this creative tension we will devolve to war or mysticism because war attempts to completely externalize this conflict and mysticism attempts to completely internalize this conflict. There is no solution to this creative tension because it must be maintained, not only must it be maintained, but it will be maintained whether we want it to or not. Finding that place of equilibrium in the cycle of self and other needs to be matched with the continual search for new places of equilibrium. If we choose to ignore the existence of this tension our behavior will be determined by the system and not our own autonomy. However, there are points of leverage where we can affect the tension in the system. These are some points of leverage: Forgiveness, Threshold Crossing, recognizing regions of validity, Theatre and Dialogue. Grab a lever and pull.