Arlecchino Malbenvolio / Community / Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Pumpkins

.....Here is a recent letter from a sadly misguided soul:

    Once again, do-gooder leftist liberals THINK they are protecting the
innocent.  They think THEY know what is best for everyone.  In reality,
they are TROUNCING on the FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS of those they think they
are protecting. 

    If some pumpkins feel their highest form of self expression comes
through artistic body piercing, that is their decision.  Throughout
history, individuals have chosen to express themselves through bodily
adornments, often including imprinting their bodies with beautiful
traditional designs. 

    These personal bodily embellishments include body painting, tatooing,
henna skin dyeing, and belly-button piercing.  Pumpkin piercing is widely
recognized as one of the most highly developed of these artistic
traditions. 

    But now, along come certain liberal "know-it-alls" who would deny
pumpkins their basic right of self-determination, their moment of ecstatic
self expression, their very "raison d'etre."  We must resist this denial
of pumpkin First Amendment rights. 

    [Your brothers created a couple very nice jack o'lanterns.]

    Love, Mom.